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Am I an Alienating Parent?Take the Quiz: 
  • Have I ever allowed my child to disrespect their other parent?
  • Have I ever encouraged my child to disrespect their other parent?
  • Have I lied to the other parent about my child not feeling well?
  • Have I ever created a scene to make their other parent look bad?
  • Have I shared details of the divorce settlement or family court proceedings with my child?
  • Have I made my child feel insecure by saying things like "If you need me to come pick you up, I'll be right there?", "I'm sorry you have to spend the weekend with your Dad/Mom", "Call me as soon as you get there to let me know your okay."
  • Have I used my child to spy on their other parent?
  • Have I used my child as a messenger?
  • Have I used the divorce as an excuse to not buy them something they wanted?
  • Have I asked for details of their visit with their other parent?
  • Have I asked them to lie to their other parent?
  • Have I acted hurt or betrayed if my child wanted to be with their other parent?
  • Have I told them I wouldn't force them to see their other parent if they didn't want to?
  • Have I accused their other parent of neglecting or abusing my child in front of that child?
  • Do I make excessive calls to my child when they are with their other parent?
  • Do I plan tempting alternatives that would interfere with their time with their other parent?
  • Have I purposely neglected to tell their other parent about school or sporting events?
  • Have I told my child their other parent was divorcing us or that they have abandoned us?
  • Do I use the family court as a weapon of intimidation to get my ex-spouse to do what I want them to do?


If you answer yes to any of these questions, you should ask yourself, what are mu motives? Are they to make me look good and my ex-spouse look bad? Have I become an alienating parent? Am I employing alienating tactics against your children and ex-spouse? Do I feel justified allowing this type of behavior to go unchecked in my life? You should consider seeking professional help to deal with your anger, hatred and control issues before they do irreparable damage to your child. Find out more about the different levels of parental alienation.
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  • Call the San Diego County Domestic Violence 24-hour hotline 1-888-DVLINKS (385-4657) for emergency assistance or ongoing needs.

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