What is Parental Alienation?
Generally parental alienation occurs during a child custody dispute, and the child actually plays a part in the issue. After a parent continually denigrates the other parent to a child, the child may also begin doing the same thing by saying unwarranted, mean things about the other parent. The child may even exhibit hatred toward the other parent, and, almost certainly, anger. When questioned, the child will often protect the “alienating” parent by asserting he or she alone has such bad feelings about the other parent. The child may appear to have little or no guilt over exhibiting cruel behavior toward the alienated parent. In some instances, the child may even describe a situation he or she absolutely could not have experienced, in which the alienated parent did or said something to warrant the child’s negative attitude. Parental alienation is often insidious, it can take a number of different forms. You may be the victim of parental alienation if the child’s other parent has done any of the following:
Made disrespectful or disparaging comments about you to your child;
Consistently failed to comply with a valid child time sharing agreement;
Used your child as a messenger to communicate negative information to you;
Made your child feel guilty about interacting with you; or
Made false claims that suggest you have been abusive.
Generally parental alienation occurs during a child custody dispute, and the child actually plays a part in the issue. After a parent continually denigrates the other parent to a child, the child may also begin doing the same thing by saying unwarranted, mean things about the other parent. The child may even exhibit hatred toward the other parent, and, almost certainly, anger. When questioned, the child will often protect the “alienating” parent by asserting he or she alone has such bad feelings about the other parent. The child may appear to have little or no guilt over exhibiting cruel behavior toward the alienated parent. In some instances, the child may even describe a situation he or she absolutely could not have experienced, in which the alienated parent did or said something to warrant the child’s negative attitude. Parental alienation is often insidious, it can take a number of different forms. You may be the victim of parental alienation if the child’s other parent has done any of the following:
Made disrespectful or disparaging comments about you to your child;
Consistently failed to comply with a valid child time sharing agreement;
Used your child as a messenger to communicate negative information to you;
Made your child feel guilty about interacting with you; or
Made false claims that suggest you have been abusive.
There are three basic categories of parental alienators which include:
- Naive alienators may actually not realize the damage they are doing to their child, however when the behaviors are pointed out, the naive alienator is generally willing to be educated and make the necessary changes for their child. This is the mildest form of parental alienation.
- The next category include the active alienators. When these alienators’ emotions are triggered, they forget the appropriate boundaries, acting in ways that can damage their child’s relationship with the other parent. Even when the parent calms down, he or she is unlikely to admit the inappropriateness of their behavior.
- Finally, there is the most severe category of parental alienator. These parents actively seek to destroy the other parent’s relationship with the child. It is believed by professionals that the only way to "treat" this level of parental alienation, is by removing the child from their influence.